I can’t find my new Tiles.

I bought a box of Tiles- those Bluetooth object-tracking things made by the only logical future sponsor for this website- to replace my mostly-dead previous set. I’m sure the batteries would cost 25 cents each to replace if it wasn’t designed specifically so that you cannot replace them, so I had to buy a brand new box. This is a fucking racket, and part of everything wrong with our consumer culture, but for a small monthly sponsorship or, like, even just a couple of boxes of free ones, I would definitely remove that statement and replace it with something flattering about this product or literally any other product of your choosing.

Regrettably, the Tiles arrived on the same day that I threw a small party AKA the first day that I had cleaned my apartment in months. This act of tidying up eradicated the delicate ecosystem that I had spent said months cultivating and wiped clean the elaborate- if somewhat unreliable- mental map of everything I own. Subsequently, this brand new box is definitely residing in one of the dozens of places that I shoved the previous residents of my floor when I realized that I was running out of time before the party.

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